By Monica Connolly, The Transformation Catalyst Coach

Somewhere along the way, we forget.

Not because we want to—but because life teaches us to perform. To please. To prove.
We learn that being loved often means being less of ourselves.
And piece by piece, we lose touch with the woman we were before the world told us who to be.

For years, I lived that story. I wore the labels—caregiver, achiever, perfectionist, fixer—so tightly that I couldn’t breathe. My body was exhausted, my mind was on autopilot, and my spirit felt numb.

Until one question cracked everything open:
Who was I before the world told me who to be?

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Remembering the You Beneath the Noise

When you spend years in survival mode, your nervous system learns that constant doing equals safety.
Maybe you learned to stay quiet to avoid conflict.
Maybe you learned to over-perform to earn love.
It’s called the fawn response—your body’s instinct to keep the peace by abandoning yourself.

But you were never meant to live that way.
The you beneath the coping mechanisms is still there—patiently waiting to be seen, heard, and chosen.

Healing begins the moment you start listening to her again.

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The Science of Coming Home

Your nervous system isn’t broken—it’s brilliant.
It adapted to help you survive.
And now, with compassion and awareness, it can learn a new pattern: safety in authenticity.

Simple practices like mindful breathing, grounding, and setting gentle boundaries tell your brain, “I’m safe now.”
Over time, those small acts of self-honoring begin to rewire your neural pathways for peace instead of performance.

You don’t have to become someone new.
You just have to remember who you’ve always been.

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A Simple Practice to Try

Take a slow breath.
Place your hand over your heart and ask:
“What does my truest self need today?”

Listen. Don’t rush to answer.
Sometimes the remembering happens in the quiet.

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Closing Thoughts

Authenticity feels like peace, not performance.
When you regulate your nervous system and listen to your body, you reconnect with the woman you were created to be—free, grounded, and whole.

Because the world doesn’t need a shinier version of you.
It needs the real one.

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🎧 Listen to the full episode:
Who Were You Before the World Told You Who to Be? – Unshakeable Belief Podcast

Ready to go deeper?
Join the RESET Coaching Program, a 6-week journey to regulate your nervous system, rewire your mindset, and rise in purpose.